When Gerry called, he was exhausted and distraught. He reported that he had accomplished next to nothing in the past week, having spent too much time putting out fires for a client who has been constantly screwing up. This client insists upon making changes to their software program themselves, creating problems, which Gerry has to fix.
Gerry, a software engineer, is only contracted to work for this particular client two days a week, but had been drawn into crisis mode (yet again) and had spent most of his weekend dealing with the problems they created.
It’s not the first time that Gerry has had to sacrificed a weekend for this client, in fact it happens more often than not.
He told me that he has recently been thinking about changing careers, that he’s not happy doing this anymore.
He’s been having trouble sleeping. He’s been fighting with his wife because he’s never home for dinner and doesn’t see the kids before they go to sleep. He’s missed the last two soccer games his twins were in. He hasn’t paid his bills yet this month and it’s almost over. He was late for his Mom’s 85th birthday party…
We spoke about the things he doesn’t like about his work, and this led to a conversation about his personal life…it seems he hasn’t been taking any time for himself, and it’s starting to impact the way he feels about himself, his life and his work.
When I dug a little deeper, I found out that even when Gerry has a weekend off, he rarely spends any time chilling out. Instead, he runs around, catching up on all the things he’d been neglecting and is running himself so ragged, that he returns to work feeling totally worn out. A sure prescription for burn-out.
Although he’s voiced these concerns before, I got a sense that this time Gerry had hit a wall, he realized that things would not get better unless he took action. Sorry that this had to happen, but glad it’s finally motivated him to take action.
By the time we finished talking, Gerry had come up with a plan.
- He would no longer work on his days off.
- He would come home "early" at least twice a week.
- He would spend one day of his weekend doing personal errands and chores.
- He would spend quality time with his family.
- He would set aside a nice chunk of his weekend just to chill out.
Update:
Since our last session, Gerry had a heart to heart with his client. He explained that he is no longer available on the weekends, and got the client to agree not to let her staff make any changes to the program themselves.
Wednesday, he left the office promptly at 5. He made it home in time for dinner with the kids, and spent an hour or so paying bills.
He didn’t work this weekend. Saturday, he went for a run, did a little yard work, brought the kids to a game, and took his wife out to dinner. Sunday, he slept late and spent the rest of the afternoon laying in the hammock, watching the twins play. Although his weekend was busy, his attitude was drastically improved and he felt refreshed, energized and motivated to face work on Monday morning.
When will you schedule some time to chill out?
-Susan Martin, work life balance champion.
