A recent post on the Selling To Big Companies blog reminded me of how important setting clear boundaries is in business, a topic I work with clients on all the time.
An architect had problems with a client. No matter how many hours she put into the project, the client always wanted more. More revisions, more choices, more site visits, etc. She was losing money trying to make this client happy.
A consultant was hired to to work with the administrators of a middle school to setup a new program. Every time he showed up the administrators were too involved with their other work to spend time with him, and he wasted hours waiting for them. Then they asked him to stay later and meet with them on weekends to make up for lost time.
A decorators phones were ringing constantly and she answered every call. As a result, she didn’t get her drawings done and was missing deadlines.
A production manager spent so much time dealing with problems that there was no time for planning, thus setting the stage for the next crises to occur…
What do all of these scenarios have in common? Boundaries and learning to say NO.
Many business people are afraid to set boundaries, perhaps fearing conflict or the loss of a customer or employee. What they overlook though, is that by not setting boundaries they’re actually setting themselves up for greater problems. The truth is that most people will honor boundaries, once they know what they are.
Here are some simple steps to setting clear boundaries:
- Calm down. It’s impossible to set a good boundary when you’re upset.
- Think about what you’re going to say, even practice it first if possible.
- Listen to what you’re planning to say, as if you’re the other party; make any necessary edits.
- Be polite, but firm.
- Don’t play the blame game or try to make them feel guilty.
- Ground yourself.
- Deliver your message without emotional charge, using a matter of fact tone instead.
- If they don’t honor your boundary the first time, don’t give in. Instead, keep reminding them of it, they’ll get the message eventually.
Are boundary issues creating problems in your business?
-Susan Martin, NYC Business Coach.
