In business as in life, there are lessons to be learned, sometimes the hard way. One of these lessons is learning to say no. And often, business professionals get themselves in trouble by not being able to do it.
By not knowing when to say no, we leave ourselves open for lots of problems, here’s the short list:
- Taking on more work than you can deliver
- Taking on projects that you don’t really want to do
- Taking on work that’s not profitable
- Dealing with clients who your gut tells you will be trouble (and those you already know are trouble)
- Putting up with others who treat you disrespectfully, who yell, scream or make unreasonable demands
For years I had a hard time saying no, but that all changed one day…
I used to own a sweater design and manufacturing business before I started coaching. Actually, it was probably because of my experiences in that industry that the whole idea of Business Sanity was born, but that’s another story…
During that time, we started doing business with a new customer that my partner had brought in. I had never dealt with them before directly, and my partner asked me to stop by at their warehouse one day. Although we had only been doing business with them for a couple of weeks, virtually every interaction my partner had with her turned into a screaming match.
Naturally, I was a little wary when I went in to see her. We were going over some orders that her company had given us. Something, although I’m still not sure what, set her off, and she started to yell and scream at me.
My natural inclination at times like this would be to try to calm the person down, and or get defensive, behaviors that usually didn’t help much, but I would often employ.
For some reason, (maybe hormonal, as I was pregnant at the time) I just looked at her and said very matter of factly: “I’d be happy to discuss this with you when you’ve calmed down.” and walked out of her office.
We continued to do business with this company for several years. She never yelled at me again.
Unfortunately, this was not the case for my partner, who never let her know that her behavior was unacceptable to him.
Wow! I felt so empowered! And even better, I realized that there were other situations I could set boundaries in as well. Learning to say no helped my business and my life.
Do you have trouble saying no?
-Susan Martin, NYC Business Coach and “no” sayer
