There’s an interesting dialogue going on over at the WSJ "Juggle" blog about the whole question of having more than one child. Another emotionally charged issue judging from the comments this post has received…Sara Schaefer Muñoz writes:
“So, when’s the next one coming?” Many first-time parents have, at one time or another, heard this question from family, colleagues — even virtual strangers.
It doesn’t seem to matter if the first child is five months old or five years. The prevailing assumption — at least in my experience — seems to be that no one would have only one child by choice. There’s a lot of talk of giving the “gift” of a sibling to your child, as well as concerns — founded or not — that only children are lonely or even self-centered. One poster wrote that some people get very upset when you say you might stop at one, saying things like, “you can’t do that” or “it’s mean to the child.”
But could it be that only one is easier on working parents? Writes one Juggle reader: “I don’t think one child had a huge impact on our finances. The impact of a SECOND child, however, is keeping us from having [another] one right now.” Indeed, siblings mean the doubling or tripling of childcare costs, more pediatrician appointments, higher-priced family vacations — not to mention more college costs.
Some say that having more than one can also take a professional toll on moms. Linda Hirshman, author of the controversial book “Get to Work,” asserts that a second child increases the pressure on women to leave the workforce.
The number of children parents have can’t always be planned. But it seems from reader comments that many parents do feel a larger family is worth the trade-offs. Is this true? Or have any readers out there decided it was best to stop at one?
Postscript: After this post went up, a reader reminded us that Terri Cullen wrote a column on this issue last year. Here’s the story."
The comments range from people who think we have to maintain a certain level of population growth (?) to those who feel it’s really unfair to have an only child, others feel that they should make their decision based upon time, money and other external factors.
I think it’s very much a personal decision. Since I was 42 when my daughter was born, it was almost a no brainer, between exhaustion and worries about Downs Syndrome and other medical issues there was no way we were ready to do this again at our age. And yes, there are times when I thought it would be nice to have another, but my kid is happy, we’re happy and she gets lots of time with us and also with friends and teammates.
What’s your take on this?
-Susan Martin, work life balance coach and happy parent of an only child.
